It's a little frightening how easy it is to fall into the same old patterns. I look at now, and at five years ago, and at ten years ago, and I'm not sure what's changed (aside from my job and my car). I want the same I wanted then, still can't imagine myself in five years, still see no forward movement. Hell, no backward movement. I'm not even sure I'm moving sideways.
I'm trying to get out, to move, to do something more or less on the daily, but I wind up going to the same places, doing the same stuff. It'll get old, I imagine, and I'll just stop. Again.
I don't like my own company. When I look for someone else's, I get nothing, which is even worse if I'm being specific. When I go out, I wind up alone, and I may as well just not bother, since I can get that at home and it's cheaper.
I talked to the hostess at the diner the other night more than I've talked to my friends in two weeks.